Thursday, May 10, 2007

Back To The Future

Here in the future, hours ahead of you westerners, we can finally ride our motorcycles late at night and shoot roman candles at each other while busting down deserted alleyways hoot'n and holler'n till we get too tired to hoot and holler anymore. And for us who don't get tired, we won't let you down America! We will enjoy this "freedom" for as long as we can walk, run, limp, ride, roll or what ever other means we can move forward, for we are the special gifted few here in China, we are the Friendly Americans! Ni Hao!

Although that evening of fireworks wasn't documented with pictures and videos we have managed to set a camera up and grab a few now and then. The pictures are posted at the link below:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/38032630@N00/

The videos are on youtube.com. Follow the links below to the site.
I'm not sure if you'll need to register at either site but if you do
it should be a simple process and certainly free.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kc92Leq0lE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BpyvglGB3s

A quick rundown of what the trip has been like for me up until now. I arrived
in
Beijing a month ago and was met by George Bourassa and Scott Jameson
the following
day. Being my second time here it was familiar and friendly.
We were meeting at
the same hotel we had stayed at last year which also
housed the most happening bar
on the weekends, Poacher's Inn.
A few days in Beijing and we were back to Jinan in the Shandong province.
George
had been teaching here for two years and Mike Barkelew now lived in
George's old
apartment where we stayed last year.
A few days in Jinan and it was off to Shanghai where George and I were
meeting
with George's new employer Heartland Media. George has been
planning a 3 month
motorcycle tour of China which he has been actively
looking for sponsorship.
After meeting with George in Seattle during his January
break I decided instead of
finding a new job in California I'd join forces with
George in China and help
where I could to get this 3 month trip confirmed.
So here I am in China.

The meeting went well. We met a Nokia representative who seemed interested
in the
pitch. We would ride motorcycles around certain areas of China promoting
Nokia. Our
motorcycles would be plastered with Nokia stickers as our clothes
would be obviously
Nokia.
They asked for a budget which George and I whooped up and handed off.

We waited a day or so and didn't get an answer but were told that after
"May Holiday,"
the coming week, Nokia would decide whether or not to approve
a trial run for us. A
16 day ride consisting of 1200 km, two cities, four staged
performances and as many
satellite performances we could pull off.
We hopped a train from Shanghai back to
Jinan where we would take a couple
days to wait for Bark to get back from a trip and
prep our bikes for our first
motorcycle trip to the coast.
There were only three bikes so I opted to buy one
from one of George's friends. This
way Bark would be able to come on the trip.
Wouldn't want to leave him in Jinan for
May Holiday. During "May Holiday"
everyone stops working and everyone heads for some
tourist location. That
would leave Bark back here in the teachers barracks alone.
After he got home
from his trip we split. The total trip lasted 7 days and 1062.8km.

We drove about 2 to 5 hours a day on some of the nicest rodes I have ever
driven. As
well as some of the harshest conditions I have ever driven.
Caught in the rain once.
Chased by bees through a village. Dodging on coming
trucks, buses and cars who seem
to not know that the lines on the street serve
a purpose. I took a spill trying to
navigate a path only I could see. After
righting my bike and inspecting my fresh and
bleeding scrape to my back and
elbow (it's so hard to ride with a shirt on)I noticed
an old man set back
into the trees who seemed as if he had watched the whole thing
by
the smile on his face.
The trip was not without other spills. George droped his bike on a tough
ride up a
mountain of large rocks and loose gravel. He really just placed his
bike down, but
after talking about it, as it was unavoidable, we deiced he
had "spilled." Bark took
the toughest spill. After a dramatic fish tail riding
through road construction he
dropped the bike on his leg and rolled on the
ground. Bark hopped up quick and moved
his bike to the side. With a quick
inspection I knew we wouldn't be riding without
some fixing. I had seen a
garage up a bit so we rolled in there for some repair.
As Chinese do, when
we walked up they all gasped. White folk get that reaction
everywhere you
go. I realized the problem with Bark's forks as a problem that I had
had
nearly 20 years ago. 20 years ago my friend Ed taught me the simple solution

which I applied now. We all rode away.
That night during a late night expedition into what seemed to be a
construction site
we stumbled upon some real fun riding. Weaving in and out
of giant dump trucks.
Front loaders back lit by super bright lights and the dust
they were creating adding
to my awe. We headed away found some train
tracks decided to scout it out. Riding
up on some sort of workers housing,
I think, we decided to head back. Bark's leg
was becoming an issue. We came
up to the entrance that we had avoided to get into
the site on the way out.
The guard looked over at me and started walking up to me
as I rode up to him
trying to decide what my chance of getting away was if I whipped

around and headed back into the site. Would I find another escape route?
Would
they put up a chase? With the light behind me I could see he had a
stern look on his
face. When the light of his guard house broke the brim of
my helmet he smiled. I
was just white enough to get away with this.
He patted me on the back and off back
to the hotel I rode. Everyday is
white boy day in China.
We woke up the next morning a realized Bark
wouldn't be able to come finish the trip.
Three days in. Damn. He has the
coolest whip and stick. George and I ran around
town solving the problem.
The solution came by hiring a truck for 1000rmb that
would drive Bark and the
bike home.
George, Scott and myself saddled up and rode on. We traveled to
and through Jinan,
Yi Yaun, Ye Shui, Ruzhou, Junan, Yenan and a few others
that we never got the names
of. We stayed mostly in the province of Shandong
except one day toward the end of
the trip after inspecting the map realized we
were in the province of Jiangso.

So cool. So cool.

12 comments:

Patrick said...

So who's shooting the video backwards while Going Round the Mountain ("...when she comes") and may i bring this blog to the attention of "Where Are They Now?"

York said...

I hate you so much it feels like love.

XOXOY

Unknown said...

fuckin cool dood. lookin forward to hear more from the trip. We're holdin down the Soggy Rope for ya.

Jeffro

Anonymous said...

Oh my god Charlie! This is so much cooler than Dick in a Box! I can't stand you right now, but I love you just the same. Be safe and send me a plane ticket!

Unknown said...

Wait, you skipped right over the part of being chased by bees???? More bugs. Insect stories good!!

Very cool; very jealous.

todd said...

hmmmm very interesting

Unknown said...

who knew you could write? Keep it comin!

And dude, even in antarctica, everyday is whiteboy day.

Aaron Knapp said...

I can't swedish man hog in littletown bahario, net simulus is fantastically stagnant and surprisingly coitus. niceage, diceage is my favorite big mac.

I'm so glad we speak the same language, Charlie.

DebRuss said...

It is a wise man who pets the toothless monkey. (Wait -- or was that the retarded moneky?)
All hail Beijing.
LOVE YA!
Debster

Adam said...

It's a funny twist of fate when it is George admonishing others to be quiet, stop coming home all drunk and loud, and for making noises in the night. He gets everything he deserves and is still owed more.

George V. Bourassa said...

Charlie is the loudest fucking snorer in the whole goddamn fucking world, just for the record. And I love him to death. Even though every night I have to share a hotel room with him I want to kill him.
As for the Guangzhou "incident", you the intrepid reader can decide for yourself if blacked out drunk charlie's recollection or sober-george who has to work in the morning's recolection is closer to the truth. I trust you. Especially if you've ever heard charlie make an entrace at 5 am after heavy drinking and then commence to sawing logs with a chainsaw hooked up to a jet engine. The drunk pudgy russion dame only heard him snore for "a minute" because she PASSED THE FUCK OUT AND STARTED SNORING HERSELF. =-) Hugs and kisses to all.

George V. Bourassa said...

Adam, I have thought about you EVERY time I complain about anyone doing anything (a la drunk and noisy, etc.) since I've sobered up, and you are absoutely right. I have so much to pay for! Fuck all... Charlie at 5 am is the Right Hand of Karma, and that mother-fucker has come to GET HIS DUE in a BIG WAY. My trails and tribulations have just begun. I am paying for my sins. Justice is being served. You should come visit.